““We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer
As we continue our discussion on bullying I would like to draw upon the above quote from Dietrich Bonheoffer. Bonheoffer was a Lutheran pastor in Nazi Germany. He was sent to prison for his opposition to Hitler’s solution for the Jews and for his general stance on Nazi Germany. While in prison he wrote many letters and pamphlets concerning community and how societies should operate. Though he was killed for his beliefs just weeks before his concentration camp was liberated, his ideas on a “one-anothering” community are still used today.
I think it is wise as we begin to discuss the topic of bullying virtually and face to face, that we here at DMS see ourselves as a community. We are made up of students, Parents, and educational colleagues. We are in this business of education together. The quote from Bonheoffer to look at each other “in light of what they suffer” requires vulnerability, but I do think that if we take time to step back and take a look at our selves and our community we will notice there is a great deal of suffering. This reality should not be used as an excuse to justify action or inaction but rather as a posture to take toward one another as we grow and hopefully present a better environment for our children and students.
When we begin with suffering and allow empathy to well up, it breads a sense of equity and levels the playing field, so to speak. There is not a single educator in this school or in our system who wants bullying to exist nor do they want to cover up an actual case of bullying. No one wants this, it is not productive to the business we are in. Though we want equity in this community in order to establish it we have to believe we are on the same team working together. As we work together we need to see that we each have our roles and positions . These positions come with natural strengths and specific insights as well as unpreventable weakness and blinders. For example, teachers and administrators have the ability to look at two conflicting students objectively and advocate for both as they strive to find truth for the collective group. Parents on the other hand have the ability to share specific insights and unique traits about their children. I am the parent of 3…. This past week when my son was sick, I knew it before anyone else, even really before he did. I could look into his eyes and just tell that he was sick. The unique gift parents bring to us is their knowledge of the emotional understandings of their own children.
In order to grow this community at DMS we need to recognize our gifts and we need to find sight in our “blinders” . For teachers that means recognizing that we over simplify many situations since our vantage point leads us to characterize students and reduce them to a standard step by step processes to “fix them”. Rather, we should seek a unique understanding for each student. Parents need to be objective and recognize the reality that children act and behave differently in different settings especially when you are not present. Also parents , please understand that many times your children only give you a portion of the story. As parents we should promote the authority of teacher and administrator and push our children to understand and practice personal accountability.
As we grow forward with our student culture in this community, lets remember we all have struggles, we are all suffering, we are in this together in this community. All of us— teachers and parents - want to ease the suffering and pain that comes from bullying.
Dade County School in the early 1900’s
I think it is wise as we begin to discuss the topic of bullying virtually and face to face, that we here at DMS see ourselves as a community. We are made up of students, Parents, and educational colleagues. We are in this business of education together. The quote from Bonheoffer to look at each other “in light of what they suffer” requires vulnerability, but I do think that if we take time to step back and take a look at our selves and our community we will notice there is a great deal of suffering. This reality should not be used as an excuse to justify action or inaction but rather as a posture to take toward one another as we grow and hopefully present a better environment for our children and students.
When we begin with suffering and allow empathy to well up, it breads a sense of equity and levels the playing field, so to speak. There is not a single educator in this school or in our system who wants bullying to exist nor do they want to cover up an actual case of bullying. No one wants this, it is not productive to the business we are in. Though we want equity in this community in order to establish it we have to believe we are on the same team working together. As we work together we need to see that we each have our roles and positions . These positions come with natural strengths and specific insights as well as unpreventable weakness and blinders. For example, teachers and administrators have the ability to look at two conflicting students objectively and advocate for both as they strive to find truth for the collective group. Parents on the other hand have the ability to share specific insights and unique traits about their children. I am the parent of 3…. This past week when my son was sick, I knew it before anyone else, even really before he did. I could look into his eyes and just tell that he was sick. The unique gift parents bring to us is their knowledge of the emotional understandings of their own children.
In order to grow this community at DMS we need to recognize our gifts and we need to find sight in our “blinders” . For teachers that means recognizing that we over simplify many situations since our vantage point leads us to characterize students and reduce them to a standard step by step processes to “fix them”. Rather, we should seek a unique understanding for each student. Parents need to be objective and recognize the reality that children act and behave differently in different settings especially when you are not present. Also parents , please understand that many times your children only give you a portion of the story. As parents we should promote the authority of teacher and administrator and push our children to understand and practice personal accountability.
As we grow forward with our student culture in this community, lets remember we all have struggles, we are all suffering, we are in this together in this community. All of us— teachers and parents - want to ease the suffering and pain that comes from bullying.
Dade County School in the early 1900’s